A woman and her daughter talking with two friends over food at a busy outdoor food festival

Four Things That Grow Her Own Connection to Her Father's Language

Your daughter is a child of two people who each reach for the other's language. She trusts that you reach for her father's language too. She trusts that her own connection to it grows on yours. These four things build that trust, one after another.

1. Find more people to speak his language with her.

Somewhere in her father's family or friends is someone who reminds you of the best in him. You know what that is. Find that person, and let your daughter know them too. Then install the kasahorow keyboard yourself, and write to them in whichever language her father speaks. If he asks you, "Are you OK?", you do not need to type a word. Tap once, 👆 for yes or 👇 for no. The word stands there in English and in his language. Send it.

2. Honour her father with a gift that keeps count.

Give her father a book in which you mark each date your daughter used his language. You keep that log. Every date you fill in says to him: I was here for this one too. When he opens it and reads it, that is his thank-you, and it comes back to you. You give this first gift freely. What you give after that follows the thanks that come back.

3. Watch for what comes back.

Receive what comes, in his own way and his own time. She answers in English today. Each date you mark is a day she used his language. When nothing comes back, from him or from your daughter, that is your licence to make a new connection to his language yourself.

4. Protect your own capacity to keep giving.

You must always be replenished. Say yes when saying yes replenishes you. Say no when saying yes will make you feel depleted. One day she, having received in her father's language, gives in it to someone of her own.

Gifts that heal

You give a gift to the person you love with one intent: that it does them good. When they use it, in their language, it does them good. That use is their thank you, and you see it. Give the first word with the kasahorow keyboard.

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